Have you ever forgotten who you are? I know I do all the time. How about forgetting who you were created to be? You know, before the foundations of the earth were formed we were chosen by Christ (Ephesians 1:4) Its good to know that even in the midst of forgetfulness we have a God who never forgets who we are and what we were created for. Even when the devil’s lies seem more in touch with reality God comes in and speaks truth right to our spirit and BAM! the devil is gone.
For me that happened on the bathroom floor at Adventures in Missions at the end of May. I had a meeting gone wrong and I went into a tail spin of emotions which led to me sprawled out on the bathroom floor.
Apparently I needed a dramatic moment because what would soon happen would bring me into a new wave of freedom and apparently later it would bring a room full of people into a new wave of freedom as well.
I leaned against the wall in that bathroom stall and gasped for breath. Panic and anxiety seemed to meet leaving my lungs incapable of receiving air. Tears welled up in my eyes and my head was filled with dark and angry thoughts about myself. I had come to believe that I did not belong here and that I was never going to be good enough for anyone or anything.
I cried out to the Lord with broken sobs “Jesus, Jesus help me! Heeeeelp meeee!”
I knew that the only thing that would stop the pain in my soul was him but I could not find him. He was no where in sight.
I franticly pulled out my laptop and my iPhone. Maybe Jesus music and writing would help. I had a final project due in three days and it was not yet completed so maybe my anxiety would subside if I completed it.
My sobs got deeper and more uncontrollable and my body began to shake.
So I texted my friends to ask for prayer. They eagerly agreed. So I waited and I prayed and asked Holy Spirit to come and bring peace. But nothing.
I hit the half hour mark and thankfully no one had come into the bathroom, even though there was a secret part of me that wanted someone to come in and help me I also knew how embarrassed I would be if I was found with puffy eyes, runny nose, and a depleted body that couldn’t move.
I looked to my left and there was my bible. Well Lord this has to work. If this book is filled with life and truth then pour it out on me PLEASE!
With little energy left I flipped open the pages of my bible and it opened on Joshua. My favorite book. The one that always encourages me the most these days.
The more verses I read the more I believed it. I went from reading in my head to stuttering it out loud while gasping for air. Then as soon as day follows night my lungs were freed and I could breathe again. My eyes started to dry up and energy started to return to my tired body. I was no longer reading out of desperation but reading out of declaration.
Earlier that week the Lord had given me a vision of a room filled with balloons. Red ones with purple ones peaking out behind them. I felt anxiety and fear in this vision and the Lord said to pop the balloons. So I did and as I popped them one by one I was able to breathe more and more clearly. Then he told me that on Friday I would pop balloons. Friday was the day that I found myself on the bathroom floor. Speaking truth pops the lies of the enemy. Every. Single. Time.
Three days later I shared my final project at our Celebration night for Worship Track where I shared this story I am sharing with you and I popped balloons.
What balloons do you need to pop today?
