Its Friday! I should be doing a happy dance because it is the weekend and I can run free, but instead I am sitting on my bed starting at the wall. The thought of writing a blog brings me so much anxiety that I avoid it as long as I can. I have tried to write a blog every day this week but nothing has come out and the same with the previous week. So I am just going to write and see where it takes me….
I am tired of writing blogs about myself and what I am learning. I want to tell you amazing stories about how I went to Wal-Mart and the Lord gave me a word for some lady and she was healed and accepted Christ. I want to be super human. I want to be a super Christian. Unfortunately that is not my reality today, this week, or even this month.
Deep down inside I really just want my church and supporters to know that I am doing something worth while here in GA and I am not just wasting time and valuable resources to live in another state and talk about my feelings every day. Unfortunately that has not been my reality today, this week, or even this month.
I have one more month of my first semester and then we all have a month off. I plan to return for a second semester after that because well, God is not done with me here. There is more he wants to do. My feet are dragging because if I am being honest, I don’t really think I deserve to come back. I am still in the same valley I was when I got here. I see little to no change in who I am now…so I must have done something wrong or not worked hard enough. (Says my mind)
Someone said something interesting the other day. I am not a expert so take this as you will… He was talking about Jesus and how he didn’t go out and heal people for 33 years of his life but that he lived a normal life in preparation for the three years of ministry that he would do. Jesus is preparing me for something bigger than I could ever imagine and this process is so painful.
There is one thing I keep telling people….”I am not leaving until I got what I came for!!!”
Jesus told me I was coming to Georgia and that something amazing would happen and I will not leave in the midst of it.
